As I have mentioned before I had a natural curiosity about Black Men. That began to become a sexual interest when I was in my teens. In addition there was the growing interests in BDSM. My interest in bondage started first. My older brother would tie me up when he was supposed to bay-sit me. I was 9 he was 12. He would tie me to a chair, or in a hog tie, or to the pole in the basement. Then he would go out and hang with his friends. About 30 minutes before my parents would get home he’d be back in the house releasing me and threaten to beat me up if I told. I never did. I kind of liked it.
Later on I discovered BDSM and slavery and submission and I was naturally drawn to it. I read about Master/slave relationships in Penthouse Forum when I was in my teens. I’d buy copies of Screw magazine (a newspaper rag) and read the ads for dominatrix’s in the back. But my sexual identity was forming and I began to understand I was gay and drawn to powerful men. When I was 15 the fantasies of being tied up and fucked began.
When I was alone in the house I would tie myself up as best I could. I had a souvenir miniature baseball bat from Shea Stadium and I would grease it up with Vaseline or lotion and insert it in my ass and fuck myself.. I experimented with ways to be in bondage and hump my old bed or the sofa in the basement. I jerked off thinking about bondage.
I found a book (one of those pulp porn paperbacks) about two young men who find a closeted older gay man and make him their slave. It featured hoods and gags, dildo’s fucking, cocksucking etc. It was a goldmine of information. It also let me know others thought the same way I did.
When I was 18 I took the train into NYC and went to the porn shops in Times Square. I bought my first dildo. I don’t remember it being a conscious choice but it was made of black rubber. I also discovered Drummer Magazine.
I would shove the dildo in my ass and put a dog collar I bought at the supermarket around my neck and lay on my bed and jerk off over the classifieds in the back. I would dream of answering these ads for slaves and becoming a slave. My head spun with the possibilities and wild fantasies.
I began making regular trips into the city to buy copies of Drummer.
When I was 18 I also had a car. I started going to the gay bars on Long island. The primary one I knew about was called Pal Joey’s.. In the beginning I was always a bit nervous. I didn’t understand cruising or what I should do. But at 18 I was young enough to attract attention without doing much. My third or fourth visit I got bold and went out to a car with a guy and sucked my first dick. I wasn’t very good at it. But I got better with practice. I liked sucking dick. I thought about cock a lot. When looking at porn I looked at the man’s cock. Some men like arms, some like ass. Some like shoulders some like chests. From an early age I knew I was liked cock. What I would learn is that I was born to be a cock slave. That worshipping a powerful Master’s Cock was the best thing in the world. But that would come later. For now I was enjoying being a cocksucker in parked cars.
I began to lead a double life. I would go out drinking with my straight friends till midnight and then tell them I had to go and then I would head straight to the gay bar to see if I could find a cock to suck before going home. I lived at home with my parents so I never thought about bringing some one home and I never accepted invitations to go home with someone. All my action was in parking lots.
That was my sex life up until the October 1978. Going to gay bars and giving blowjobs; and at home jerking off over BDSM fantasies with a dildo in my ass, a dog collar on my neck, and sometimes some self-bondage with ropes and stuff.
I found other gay bars to go to. A gay disco in Huntington, a gay bar called Thunders out in Suffolk County. And there was one near my house whose name I can’t remember. It was located on Sunrise Highway in Seaford. It was a big brown building and it was a gay dance club. I never went there because I was aware that a lot of the straight guys from school would drive by and yell things at the patrons and I didn’t want to take the chance of being seen.
In October of 1978, Columbus Day Weekend to be exact, my parents went away. They went up to New England on a trip too see foliage. My brother was away at school and I was left home alone. I was attending a local college. I was in my freshman year. It was Sunday night and I had been out with my friends, but I was horny and already planning on leaving them to go to a bar and see if I could find a cock to suck. But I couldn’t break away and it got later and later and it wasn’t till after 1 AM that I left them. I was in Massapequa and I didn’t have a lot of gas in the car and I didn’t have much cash, so I decided to take a chance and go to the dance bar in Seaford. I parked my car on the other side of Sunrise Highway, in the Long island rail road parking lot so it would not be noticed.
When I crossed over to the bar I was dismayed to see that the parking lot was empty. I went in anyway and saw that there was just one patron in the place. He was a black man. Memory is hazy but I would say he was mid thirties and my mind recalls a young Danny Glover when I think of him. He was sitting at the bar drinking. The bartender was cleaning and there was another guy sweeping and collecting bottles and glasses. Other than that the bar was deserted.
When I look back now it feels like destiny. My parents were away so I was accountable to no one. I had just the right amount of gas to get to this bar. I arrived at this particular moment when there were no other customers and except him and he was just getting ready to leave. It’s like I was supposed to be there at that time to be introduced to something that would become a life’s pursuit.
The bartender saw me and told me he was closing up. I was going to leave when the black guy spoke up. He said “hey let the boy have one drink”. “I’m buying”. I remember that he referred to me as boy. I didn’t think anything of it then, but no I just love thinking about it. I ordered a beer and went over to thank him. We exchanged pleasantries and I want to say his name was Bill, but I can’t be sure and before the night was over all I was calling Him was SIR.
We moved away from the bar and he made small talk about my school and job. While he was doing this he grabbed my hand and put it on his crotch. He had a rock hard mound under the denim 501’s he was wearing. The bartender called out that it was closing so we left. Turns out he was also parked in the same lot. He said that sometimes vandals damaged the cars in the bars parking lot. We crossed the street and he directed me to my car. We got in and again he put my hand on his crotch. I was shaking and trembling with excitement and he thought it was nervousness. He suggested another beer so I drove us to the nearby 7-11. I went in and bought a Budweiser quart for me, and a Ballantine Ale quart for Him. I remember the line was long with lots of folks buying beer and the counter guy asked for ID so I was in the store a fairly long time. When I came out he was sitting with two copies of Drummer magazine in his lap. He was leafing through one of them, reading all the classifieds I had circled with a red pen. And of course, every one of them was a Master seeking a slave!
He didn’t say anything; he just put the magazines down on the floor where they had been. They originally had been under the passenger seat and I am not sure how he found them, fate I guess. And he told me to drive back to his parked car.
I opened his beer and gave it to him and sipped mine. I was feeling very shy. This was a secret exposed. He asked about the magazines and I fumbled through a response. He seemed quiet and I thought he was disgusted or something. Finally I broke down and asked if I could suck His Cock. He grunted and told me no not here in the parking lot. He was too old for that. He said I should come back to his place. I was really nervous and tried to explain why I couldn’t but he kept shooting down my excuses. I mentioned the gas problem and right away he told me to drive a couple blocks over to the gas station and he gave me five bucks to put in the tank. We went back to his car and he asked for my wallet. He took it and looked at my driver’s license and noted my address. He told me I was going to follow Him to his place and if I dared to turn off he would come to my house and get me. He asked if I believed him and I said yes. My head was spinning. I was scared and nervous, yet excited and my dick was hard. I liked being given orders.
I followed him and we drove quite a bit to North Valley Stream. He parked on a side street and I parked behind him. I got out and followed him. It turned out he lived in an apartment above a store.
Upstairs He took me into the bedroom and told me to get undressed. I wish I could describe the place for you, but he didn’t turn on many lights and it’s a fairly hazy now. He sat on the bed looking at me. I was standing there with my hands behind my back and my dick sticking out. He told me to get on my knees. I did so and He went over to the dresser behind me. I heard drawers opening and closing and then He was behind me. He grabbed my wrist and I turned to look and He smacked the back of my head and said to keep my head down. With quick work my wrists were tied together with rope. He walked around in front of me and I saw he had more rope in his hands. He tossed it on the bed and sat down on the edge. He made me move forward on my knees until I was between his legs. He pulled my head forward and put it in His crotch and I started licking His Cock through his jeans. I was working feverishly. I wanted to suck His Cock so bad
To be continued.
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